blackwire

Well, before I plunge straight into this post, just let me say that I have been (and am still) working on a post that would predate this post. I’ve been procrastinating. In any case…

I went for an equivalent of cell group today (November 8). It’s called Catholic IV (IV standing for Isla Vista, the town where I’m staying). Now, normally I don’t like cell groups because I don’t seem to gain anything from them and I don’t really like sharing all that much anyway. And to be honest, today wasn’t all that much different. I guess the main reason why I went today was to try to break out of my shell and mix around a little more, so yeah, I went for Catholic IV.

So, today’s session was quite interesting in that it about meditations. Now, for all those of you who know me, or with whom I’ve shared about certain stuff before, you would know that I’ve always had problems focusing on God during prayer/worship/spiritual prep or anything of that sort. My mind has this irritating habit of wandering off and thinking about the most damnable and unrelated thing and sometimes I just find it so far to focus on praying. And then I would try to rein it in and before long, I’m concentrating so hard on concentrating on God that I really DON’T concentrate on God. A classic catch 22 situation.

Well anyway, the same thing happened again at Catholic IV, but this time it was different. I just kinda let my mind wander and stopped fighting it. I don’t really remember where my mind wandered to, but suffice to say, it did wander way off. So as it was wandering, this thought struck me. Maybe it is alright you know, to just let it go. After all, prayer is all about communicating with God right? And you cannot BE more yourself than when you are just unconsciously letting your mind go. The thoughts that come are perhaps the more salient ones in your mind, whether you knew it or not. And in thinking those thoughts, and in thinking them in the presence of God, well, you are sort of communicating with God in that sense. You’re telling Him what matters to you, what you’re thinking of and all that. And sometimes, when you just let your mind run, who knows, that may just be the time you’re the most open to God and His promptings and nudgings.

So yeah, I guess this is really the thing I want to share with you. The next time you’ve got to pray, don’t fight it. Just let it go, let your mind wander, but at the same time just FEEL the presence of God deep inside of you.

posted by Justin  # 5:41 AM 1 Comments