blackwire
Saturday, November 17, 2007
In God's Presence We Pray
I went for an equivalent of cell group today (November 8). It’s called Catholic IV (IV standing for Isla Vista, the town where I’m staying). Now, normally I don’t like cell groups because I don’t seem to gain anything from them and I don’t really like sharing all that much anyway. And to be honest, today wasn’t all that much different. I guess the main reason why I went today was to try to break out of my shell and mix around a little more, so yeah, I went for Catholic IV.
So, today’s session was quite interesting in that it about meditations. Now, for all those of you who know me, or with whom I’ve shared about certain stuff before, you would know that I’ve always had problems focusing on God during prayer/worship/spiritual prep or anything of that sort. My mind has this irritating habit of wandering off and thinking about the most damnable and unrelated thing and sometimes I just find it so far to focus on praying. And then I would try to rein it in and before long, I’m concentrating so hard on concentrating on God that I really DON’T concentrate on God. A classic catch 22 situation.
Well anyway, the same thing happened again at Catholic IV, but this time it was different. I just kinda let my mind wander and stopped fighting it. I don’t really remember where my mind wandered to, but suffice to say, it did wander way off. So as it was wandering, this thought struck me. Maybe it is alright you know, to just let it go. After all, prayer is all about communicating with God right? And you cannot BE more yourself than when you are just unconsciously letting your mind go. The thoughts that come are perhaps the more salient ones in your mind, whether you knew it or not. And in thinking those thoughts, and in thinking them in the presence of God, well, you are sort of communicating with God in that sense. You’re telling Him what matters to you, what you’re thinking of and all that. And sometimes, when you just let your mind run, who knows, that may just be the time you’re the most open to God and His promptings and nudgings.
So yeah, I guess this is really the thing I want to share with you. The next time you’ve got to pray, don’t fight it. Just let it go, let your mind wander, but at the same time just FEEL the presence of God deep inside of you.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Another Beginning
As with all things, there comes a time when something different is needed (or wanted). I have been thinking for awhile now that I would like to make some changes to my blog, in both content and layout, and so now I have, for reasons that would be elaborated below.
But first, a disclaimer: I've taken down the previous post for the simple reason that I think the photo looked out of place for this new layout. Everything is fine between Cheryl and I, and I'm still very much in love.
The tagboard too will be gone for now. I would like all communication (if any at all) to be done through the comments link at the end of each post. It goes without saying that I would appreciate all comments, especially those that encourage debates.
The past few months have been a period of incredible growth for me, both intellectually and spiritually. I think there is a need now, more than ever before, for me to have a space to write. I envision this blog to be used mainly for my reflections on certain issues or thoughts. I have always resisted blogging about my daily comings and goings and so I shan't. Hopefully, this blog would help me in disciplining myself to write more regularly, and also provide me with an opportunity to practice writing. Hopefully also, by writing out my thoughts, it would help me to better understand them and more importantly, better develop them.
With this in mind, happy reading and take care. Cheers.
But first, a disclaimer: I've taken down the previous post for the simple reason that I think the photo looked out of place for this new layout. Everything is fine between Cheryl and I, and I'm still very much in love.
The tagboard too will be gone for now. I would like all communication (if any at all) to be done through the comments link at the end of each post. It goes without saying that I would appreciate all comments, especially those that encourage debates.
The past few months have been a period of incredible growth for me, both intellectually and spiritually. I think there is a need now, more than ever before, for me to have a space to write. I envision this blog to be used mainly for my reflections on certain issues or thoughts. I have always resisted blogging about my daily comings and goings and so I shan't. Hopefully, this blog would help me in disciplining myself to write more regularly, and also provide me with an opportunity to practice writing. Hopefully also, by writing out my thoughts, it would help me to better understand them and more importantly, better develop them.
With this in mind, happy reading and take care. Cheers.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
FAITH
FAITH
I imagine myself standing up...turning round and round, looking and searching and for the first time in my life, I begin to realise - just a little bit - the entirety and enormity of it. Its dynamic vibrancy, its neverending twists and turns, its pulsating power. Such is life, life is such.
In everything, there must be faith. Any faith. Whether in God, in science, in philosophy, all humanity needs something from which to orientate their lives from, even if we're not aware of it. That is the basic requirement of human life.
There are many who would deny this thing called faith. That is often because the word has been caught up too much in the human institution called the Church, nay, religion. Faith, for want of a better explanation, is not something that should be confined to religion, rather we should define faith as a subscription to a certain form of ideology, whether it is a civic ideology like socialism, Marxism, liberalism or a religion like Buddhism, Christianity or Islam. In this light, everyone is encompassed under the wide umbrella that orientates human life.
I have been brought up to believe in the Christian faith. My morals, my values, indeed the way I orientate my life are heavily influenced by Christian morality and values. However, apart from Christianity, other forces also influence my life and make up my orientation and they are the present-day social and civil ideologies. In short, I am a product of the society that we know of today.
At the same time, our society did not just pop out, like an anomaly on the page of history. Every society is anchored in its historical consciousness. Whether we like it or not, we could all probably trace a long line of cause and effect leading back to eternity. Even that explanation is inadequate. "Eternity" is just a convenient term to use to orientate ourselves in relation with the many many long winters of human history.
Whatever it may be however, to those who recognise this, the study of history becomes a search for the "Primal Force", the "Prime Mover", the "Alpha". Theories like the "Big Bang", "Creationism", even the bizarre "We are the spawns of an alien race" have been forwarded to explain our presence here on this earth. Why do we this? Because there is so much we do not understand about the present, about our lives. We cannot explain, fully, why our lives are orientated this way. IF there was this line of cause and effect leading back to the "First Cause" and that has made us into the way we are today, then WHAT WAS THERE BEFORE THIS "FIRST CAUSE"? The term "cause and effect" itself suggests a reaction. So what was there before this first reaction. In essence, the "First Cause" is the answer to everything.
As opposed to this "First Cause", many would argue that it could all have been random chance that made us the way we are today. Random Chance that led to human beings evolving from something, I know not what. I cannot refute this argument. Except that it scares me too much to fully contemplate this, because it takes away all meaning to life. It is as if in one fell stroke, everything that has ever happened was worthless, meaningless. It is as if were the world to end today, it really wouldn't matter at all. That, I cannot accept. Because if I do, I might as well end my life here and now.
I imagine myself standing up...turning round and round, looking and searching and for the first time in my life, I begin to realise - just a little bit - the entirety and enormity of it. Its dynamic vibrancy, its neverending twists and turns, its pulsating power. Such is life, life is such.
In everything, there must be faith. Any faith. Whether in God, in science, in philosophy, all humanity needs something from which to orientate their lives from, even if we're not aware of it. That is the basic requirement of human life.
There are many who would deny this thing called faith. That is often because the word has been caught up too much in the human institution called the Church, nay, religion. Faith, for want of a better explanation, is not something that should be confined to religion, rather we should define faith as a subscription to a certain form of ideology, whether it is a civic ideology like socialism, Marxism, liberalism or a religion like Buddhism, Christianity or Islam. In this light, everyone is encompassed under the wide umbrella that orientates human life.
I have been brought up to believe in the Christian faith. My morals, my values, indeed the way I orientate my life are heavily influenced by Christian morality and values. However, apart from Christianity, other forces also influence my life and make up my orientation and they are the present-day social and civil ideologies. In short, I am a product of the society that we know of today.
At the same time, our society did not just pop out, like an anomaly on the page of history. Every society is anchored in its historical consciousness. Whether we like it or not, we could all probably trace a long line of cause and effect leading back to eternity. Even that explanation is inadequate. "Eternity" is just a convenient term to use to orientate ourselves in relation with the many many long winters of human history.
Whatever it may be however, to those who recognise this, the study of history becomes a search for the "Primal Force", the "Prime Mover", the "Alpha". Theories like the "Big Bang", "Creationism", even the bizarre "We are the spawns of an alien race" have been forwarded to explain our presence here on this earth. Why do we this? Because there is so much we do not understand about the present, about our lives. We cannot explain, fully, why our lives are orientated this way. IF there was this line of cause and effect leading back to the "First Cause" and that has made us into the way we are today, then WHAT WAS THERE BEFORE THIS "FIRST CAUSE"? The term "cause and effect" itself suggests a reaction. So what was there before this first reaction. In essence, the "First Cause" is the answer to everything.
As opposed to this "First Cause", many would argue that it could all have been random chance that made us the way we are today. Random Chance that led to human beings evolving from something, I know not what. I cannot refute this argument. Except that it scares me too much to fully contemplate this, because it takes away all meaning to life. It is as if in one fell stroke, everything that has ever happened was worthless, meaningless. It is as if were the world to end today, it really wouldn't matter at all. That, I cannot accept. Because if I do, I might as well end my life here and now.
On this most depressing of days
On This Most Depressing Of Days...
On this most depressing of days, I made a stranger laugh...and felt pretty good.
On this most depressing of days, I saw a whole array of balloons and flowers and nice little trinkets and I thought to myself, "what absolute commercial thrash"; and yet, I smiled.
OTMDOD, I bought Faith and Chris a heart-shaped balloon each...just for the heck of it.
OTMDOD, I had a German vocab test...and it was horrendous.
OTMDOD, my dislike for someone grew, and my appreciation of someone else also grew.
OTMDOD, I watched the "Last King Of Scotland"...and thought that it was an incredibly intense show...but that's about it. I mean nothing in it pretty much surprises me, nothing much in it really touched me.
OTMDOD, my frustrations grabbed hold of my heart, and refused to let go.
OTMDOD, I realise that I hate, HAte, HATE, HATE.
OTMDOD, I lost it. For the first time in my life, I went crazy while driving. The music was so loud, it felt like my heart was beating in line with the bass. I screamed and screamed, and sped wherever I could, took 90 degree turns at 60km/h and the others at an even faster speeds. I lost control of myself.
OTMDOD, I drove for 10 seconds without my spectacles.
OTMDOD, I had a death wish. I could picture myself releasing the seat belt and braking so hard that I flew through the windscreen. I could also picture my car skidding into SOMETHING on one of the turns I took, crashing, and me walking out with blood all over, SMILING.
OTMDOD, I couldn't care less any more.
OTMDOD, I realised that there was something inexplicably exhilarating about all that.
On this most depressing of days, I made a stranger laugh...and felt pretty good.
On this most depressing of days, I saw a whole array of balloons and flowers and nice little trinkets and I thought to myself, "what absolute commercial thrash"; and yet, I smiled.
OTMDOD, I bought Faith and Chris a heart-shaped balloon each...just for the heck of it.
OTMDOD, I had a German vocab test...and it was horrendous.
OTMDOD, my dislike for someone grew, and my appreciation of someone else also grew.
OTMDOD, I watched the "Last King Of Scotland"...and thought that it was an incredibly intense show...but that's about it. I mean nothing in it pretty much surprises me, nothing much in it really touched me.
OTMDOD, my frustrations grabbed hold of my heart, and refused to let go.
OTMDOD, I realise that I hate, HAte, HATE, HATE.
OTMDOD, I lost it. For the first time in my life, I went crazy while driving. The music was so loud, it felt like my heart was beating in line with the bass. I screamed and screamed, and sped wherever I could, took 90 degree turns at 60km/h and the others at an even faster speeds. I lost control of myself.
OTMDOD, I drove for 10 seconds without my spectacles.
OTMDOD, I had a death wish. I could picture myself releasing the seat belt and braking so hard that I flew through the windscreen. I could also picture my car skidding into SOMETHING on one of the turns I took, crashing, and me walking out with blood all over, SMILING.
OTMDOD, I couldn't care less any more.
OTMDOD, I realised that there was something inexplicably exhilarating about all that.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Volatility
Volatility
I don't rightly know why I'm feeling so angry right now. In fact, the whole day I was like a ticking bomb just waiting to explode. For some reason, a red mist has been colouring everything that I lay my eyes on.
Someone said today that we should all do "good", we should all do something good and valuable for humanity. She mentioned helping the poor, doing mission trips and stuff like that. These are the things that I've always said are worth doing, and felt like doing myself. And yet, I can't but help feeling fundamentally OPPOSED to what she said.
What IS "good"? I should think that there is some inherent and absolute conception of "goodness". Its generally held that murder is "bad", that rape is also "bad", that we should not unduly cause harm to another...and I do not dispute this. Far from it.
Yet, unfortunately - or in this case, fortunately - we rarely get into situations as clear-cut as those mentioned above (I'm making the assumption that they are clear-cut, although that may be easily disputed). One problem is when we try to "measure" "good"... If we say that we want to alleviate poverty, we must ask ourselves questions like; to what end? how do we define who's poor and who's not?
To begin with, I would hazard that it is impossible to totally eradicate poverty. There would always be a "class" (I'm not comfortable with this term) of people who are worse off materially than the rest of the society. In that case, our goals and aims are already limited. How then can we help them? By making them feel good? Feel loved? Why not a shot of cocaine every now and then then? They WOULD feel good. And we could just feeding it to them so that they'll NEVER feel bad. Or injecting them with some tranquilizers and then......well, get rid of them. They sure as hell wouldn't feel "bad". (Before I get totally and utterly slammed for this outrageous suggestion, let me say that I am TOTALLY against it. Its just an eg.) The whole point is that, feeling "good" is NOT a good way to measure or to qualify doing "good". In fact, it is a horrible , horrible way of qualifying things.
If we want to measure doing "good" by the do-er's intentions, then that is even more dodgy. Aside from the cliched "the road to hell is paved with good intentions", other more real things like abortion, euthanasia can all be argued to have good intentions. Yet, as much as we can understand the motivations in carrying out those acts, I can't help but feel that they are not quite "good" things.
Another person also mentioned something about being altruistic. I believe that there is no such thing as pure altruism. No matter whether it is to make oneself feel satisfied, or happy, there will be a certain degree of fulfilling some self-interests. As long as there are intentions, any action done in accordance intentions would be self-fulfilling already.
Not that this is a "bad" thing per se. Its just important that people realise this, and acknowledge the importance of doing things for themselves.
I don't rightly know why I'm feeling so angry right now. In fact, the whole day I was like a ticking bomb just waiting to explode. For some reason, a red mist has been colouring everything that I lay my eyes on.
Someone said today that we should all do "good", we should all do something good and valuable for humanity. She mentioned helping the poor, doing mission trips and stuff like that. These are the things that I've always said are worth doing, and felt like doing myself. And yet, I can't but help feeling fundamentally OPPOSED to what she said.
What IS "good"? I should think that there is some inherent and absolute conception of "goodness". Its generally held that murder is "bad", that rape is also "bad", that we should not unduly cause harm to another...and I do not dispute this. Far from it.
Yet, unfortunately - or in this case, fortunately - we rarely get into situations as clear-cut as those mentioned above (I'm making the assumption that they are clear-cut, although that may be easily disputed). One problem is when we try to "measure" "good"... If we say that we want to alleviate poverty, we must ask ourselves questions like; to what end? how do we define who's poor and who's not?
To begin with, I would hazard that it is impossible to totally eradicate poverty. There would always be a "class" (I'm not comfortable with this term) of people who are worse off materially than the rest of the society. In that case, our goals and aims are already limited. How then can we help them? By making them feel good? Feel loved? Why not a shot of cocaine every now and then then? They WOULD feel good. And we could just feeding it to them so that they'll NEVER feel bad. Or injecting them with some tranquilizers and then......well, get rid of them. They sure as hell wouldn't feel "bad". (Before I get totally and utterly slammed for this outrageous suggestion, let me say that I am TOTALLY against it. Its just an eg.) The whole point is that, feeling "good" is NOT a good way to measure or to qualify doing "good". In fact, it is a horrible , horrible way of qualifying things.
If we want to measure doing "good" by the do-er's intentions, then that is even more dodgy. Aside from the cliched "the road to hell is paved with good intentions", other more real things like abortion, euthanasia can all be argued to have good intentions. Yet, as much as we can understand the motivations in carrying out those acts, I can't help but feel that they are not quite "good" things.
Another person also mentioned something about being altruistic. I believe that there is no such thing as pure altruism. No matter whether it is to make oneself feel satisfied, or happy, there will be a certain degree of fulfilling some self-interests. As long as there are intentions, any action done in accordance intentions would be self-fulfilling already.
Not that this is a "bad" thing per se. Its just important that people realise this, and acknowledge the importance of doing things for themselves.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
iTunes
iTunes
Picked this up from Eisen's blog...
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don't lie
Opening Credits: What Is And What Should Never Be / Led Zeppelin
Catch the wind, see us spin, sail away, leave today, way up high in the sky.
But the wind won't blow, you really shouldn't go, it only goes to show
That you will be mine, by takin' our time.
What It Means:
That's the way life is isn't it...Some things just are, and some things just should never be...And tough luck to you if those things aren't...
Waking Up: I'll Be Back / The Beatles
You know if you break my heart I'll go,
But I'll be back again,
'cause I told you once before goodbye,
But I came back again.
What It Means:
To LOVE...I'll Be Back, you fickle BITCH.
First Day At School: Toad / Cream
(Instrumental)
What It Means:
The title reminds me vividly of Philip Larkin's "Toads" and "Toads Revisited"...Quite aptly captures my attitude towards school (in the past) actually...Railing against the awful mechanical life that our society places each and everyone of us into, yet on the other hand unwilling to step out of my comfort zone and applying myself to something more worthy...(Disclaimer: the song puts me in a rather different mood, but the poem's wad comes to mind first)
Falling In Love: That's The Way / Led Zeppelin
That's the way... That's the way it oughtta be, oh don't you know now,
Mama said, mama said... that's the way it's gonna stay, yeah.
What It Means:
That's the way...Falling in Love isn't that complicated...or is it?
Fight Song: Everybody's Got Something To Hide (Except Me And My Monkey) / The Beatles
Everybody's got something to hide, except for me and my monkey
Your inside is out, and your outside is in
Your outside is in, and you inside is out
What It Means:
Sometimes, we fight not because we want something, but because we want to hide something.
Breaking Up: Till There Was You / The Beatles
There was love all around
But I never heard it singing
No I never heard it at all
Till there was you
What It Means:
And even then, it wasn't enough...because I threw it all away.
Prom: Falling Away With You / Muse
promise to hold you close and pray
watching the fantasies decay
nothing will ever stay the same
What It Means:
Prom...ise to hold you close and pray...Well, truth is...I didn't now did I? What an arse I was...I had the world in my arms, and I spurned it all.
Life's Ok: I'm Just Happy To Dance With You / The Beatles
Just to dance with you
Is everything I need
Before this dance is through
I think I'll love you too
I'm so happy when you dance with me
What It Means:
If only...if only...then maybe Life WOULD be ok.
Mental Breakdown: The Hardest Part / Coldplay
Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do it just comes undone
And everything is torn apart
Oh and thats the hardest part
What It Means:
There are times when I look back, and I FEAR...Fear so much that sometimes, I think I might just DIE...Oh for there to be meaning to life.
Driving: Let It Out / Hoobastank
I'm not afraid to let it out
I'm gonna show you how I feel
I'm not afraid to let it out
What It Means:
Gosh...If I'm like this when I drive... ... ...
Flashback: Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking / Snow Patrol
A clock is ticking, but it's hidden far away
(I could do most anything to you...)
Safe and sound
Safe and sound
What It Means:
And Long may it stay there...Hidden in a far away place, safe and sound, and unaffecting any part of my life. The scariest thing sometimes is to remember things long gone, and be reminded of the unrelenting passage of time...
Getting Back Together: Peggy Sue / Buddy Holly And The Crickets
I love you Peggy Sue - with a love so rare and true
oh Peggy - my Peggy Sue
well I love you gal - I want you Peggy Sue
What It Means:
If only, if only it were as simple as wanting...and loving...and eventually, getting...
Wedding: Don't Stop / Our Lady Peace
Don't stop sucking me in
Making me come back to you
No one will ever compare
Will ever be better than you
What It Means:
If she's the One, then let it be so. Let it be like this, a wholly intense union...for no one will ever be better than you...
Birth of Child: Drive-Thru / Tenacious D
Now if you could take a Coca-Cola, and just go half Coca-Cola, half Diet
Coke...'cuz I'm tryin to watch my figure...Tryin to loose some of the weight.
What It Means:
To the mother of my child...No matter how inane your requests are, or how weird they sound, I'll do them for you.
Final Battle: Girlfriend / Alicia Keys
I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Although she's just a girl that is your friend
I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend
She shares a special part of you
What It Means:
I'll forever have to tussle with my significant other's friends(girls) for her time and attention...God forbid, NO!
Death Song: Scar / Def Leppard
All that you are, no conscience
All you believe, no pride
All that you take, no reason
All that you leave, no right
All that you lose, no sorrow
All that you find, no shame
Can't take away the scar you left
What It Means:
I'm so going to leave a legacy behind man...Although it does seem to be a negative one.
Funeral Song: The Ballad Of John And Yoko / The Beatles
Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me.
What It Means:
Except that, I'm already dead...My Wife will outlive me, but my dear, it'll be so difficult for you who are left behind, but know that I love you...
Ending Credits: Nothing / Stabbing Westward
I don't want it, I don't need it
I don't want it, I don't need it
I don't want it, I don't need it
I don't want it, I don't need it
What It Means:
And so it ends, at the end of the day, everything dissolves into Nothing...the Nothing that I don't want, the Nothing that I don't need...
Picked this up from Eisen's blog...
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don't lie
Opening Credits: What Is And What Should Never Be / Led Zeppelin
Catch the wind, see us spin, sail away, leave today, way up high in the sky.
But the wind won't blow, you really shouldn't go, it only goes to show
That you will be mine, by takin' our time.
What It Means:
That's the way life is isn't it...Some things just are, and some things just should never be...And tough luck to you if those things aren't...
Waking Up: I'll Be Back / The Beatles
You know if you break my heart I'll go,
But I'll be back again,
'cause I told you once before goodbye,
But I came back again.
What It Means:
To LOVE...I'll Be Back, you fickle BITCH.
First Day At School: Toad / Cream
(Instrumental)
What It Means:
The title reminds me vividly of Philip Larkin's "Toads" and "Toads Revisited"...Quite aptly captures my attitude towards school (in the past) actually...Railing against the awful mechanical life that our society places each and everyone of us into, yet on the other hand unwilling to step out of my comfort zone and applying myself to something more worthy...(Disclaimer: the song puts me in a rather different mood, but the poem's wad comes to mind first)
Falling In Love: That's The Way / Led Zeppelin
That's the way... That's the way it oughtta be, oh don't you know now,
Mama said, mama said... that's the way it's gonna stay, yeah.
What It Means:
That's the way...Falling in Love isn't that complicated...or is it?
Fight Song: Everybody's Got Something To Hide (Except Me And My Monkey) / The Beatles
Everybody's got something to hide, except for me and my monkey
Your inside is out, and your outside is in
Your outside is in, and you inside is out
What It Means:
Sometimes, we fight not because we want something, but because we want to hide something.
Breaking Up: Till There Was You / The Beatles
There was love all around
But I never heard it singing
No I never heard it at all
Till there was you
What It Means:
And even then, it wasn't enough...because I threw it all away.
Prom: Falling Away With You / Muse
promise to hold you close and pray
watching the fantasies decay
nothing will ever stay the same
What It Means:
Prom...ise to hold you close and pray...Well, truth is...I didn't now did I? What an arse I was...I had the world in my arms, and I spurned it all.
Life's Ok: I'm Just Happy To Dance With You / The Beatles
Just to dance with you
Is everything I need
Before this dance is through
I think I'll love you too
I'm so happy when you dance with me
What It Means:
If only...if only...then maybe Life WOULD be ok.
Mental Breakdown: The Hardest Part / Coldplay
Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do it just comes undone
And everything is torn apart
Oh and thats the hardest part
What It Means:
There are times when I look back, and I FEAR...Fear so much that sometimes, I think I might just DIE...Oh for there to be meaning to life.
Driving: Let It Out / Hoobastank
I'm not afraid to let it out
I'm gonna show you how I feel
I'm not afraid to let it out
What It Means:
Gosh...If I'm like this when I drive... ... ...
Flashback: Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking / Snow Patrol
A clock is ticking, but it's hidden far away
(I could do most anything to you...)
Safe and sound
Safe and sound
What It Means:
And Long may it stay there...Hidden in a far away place, safe and sound, and unaffecting any part of my life. The scariest thing sometimes is to remember things long gone, and be reminded of the unrelenting passage of time...
Getting Back Together: Peggy Sue / Buddy Holly And The Crickets
I love you Peggy Sue - with a love so rare and true
oh Peggy - my Peggy Sue
well I love you gal - I want you Peggy Sue
What It Means:
If only, if only it were as simple as wanting...and loving...and eventually, getting...
Wedding: Don't Stop / Our Lady Peace
Don't stop sucking me in
Making me come back to you
No one will ever compare
Will ever be better than you
What It Means:
If she's the One, then let it be so. Let it be like this, a wholly intense union...for no one will ever be better than you...
Birth of Child: Drive-Thru / Tenacious D
Now if you could take a Coca-Cola, and just go half Coca-Cola, half Diet
Coke...'cuz I'm tryin to watch my figure...Tryin to loose some of the weight.
What It Means:
To the mother of my child...No matter how inane your requests are, or how weird they sound, I'll do them for you.
Final Battle: Girlfriend / Alicia Keys
I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend
Although she's just a girl that is your friend
I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend
She shares a special part of you
What It Means:
I'll forever have to tussle with my significant other's friends(girls) for her time and attention...God forbid, NO!
Death Song: Scar / Def Leppard
All that you are, no conscience
All you believe, no pride
All that you take, no reason
All that you leave, no right
All that you lose, no sorrow
All that you find, no shame
Can't take away the scar you left
What It Means:
I'm so going to leave a legacy behind man...Although it does seem to be a negative one.
Funeral Song: The Ballad Of John And Yoko / The Beatles
Christ you know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me.
What It Means:
Except that, I'm already dead...My Wife will outlive me, but my dear, it'll be so difficult for you who are left behind, but know that I love you...
Ending Credits: Nothing / Stabbing Westward
I don't want it, I don't need it
I don't want it, I don't need it
I don't want it, I don't need it
I don't want it, I don't need it
What It Means:
And so it ends, at the end of the day, everything dissolves into Nothing...the Nothing that I don't want, the Nothing that I don't need...
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Cortez The Killer
Cortez The Killer
I'm taking this module, Empires, Colonies and Imperialism this sem. Prof Borschberg is fast-becoming one of my favourite lecturers. Two lectures, and both were absolute gems. It is such a great feeling to go in for a lecture, sit there for two hours and come out feeling like you've really learned something. What a joy!!
Anyway, I came across this song that I had while organising my songs in iTunes the other day. Its really quite nice, and damn haunting....
Cortez The Killer
He came dancing across the water
With his galleons and guns
Looking for the new world
In that palace in the sun.
On the shore lay Montezuma
With his coca leaves and pearls
In his halls he often wondered
With the secrets of the worlds.
And his subjects
gathered 'round him
Like the leaves around a tree
In their clothes of many colors
For the angry gods to see.
And the women all were beautiful
And the men stood
straight and strong
They offered life in sacrifice
So that others could go on.
Hate was just a legend
And war was never known
The people worked together
And they lifted many stones.
They carried them
to the flatlands
And they died along the way
But they built up
with their bare hands
What we still can't do today.
And I know she's living there
And she loves me to this day
I still can't remember when
Or how I lost my way.
He came dancing across the water
Cortez, Cortez
What a killer.
I'm taking this module, Empires, Colonies and Imperialism this sem. Prof Borschberg is fast-becoming one of my favourite lecturers. Two lectures, and both were absolute gems. It is such a great feeling to go in for a lecture, sit there for two hours and come out feeling like you've really learned something. What a joy!!
Anyway, I came across this song that I had while organising my songs in iTunes the other day. Its really quite nice, and damn haunting....
Cortez The Killer
He came dancing across the water
With his galleons and guns
Looking for the new world
In that palace in the sun.
On the shore lay Montezuma
With his coca leaves and pearls
In his halls he often wondered
With the secrets of the worlds.
And his subjects
gathered 'round him
Like the leaves around a tree
In their clothes of many colors
For the angry gods to see.
And the women all were beautiful
And the men stood
straight and strong
They offered life in sacrifice
So that others could go on.
Hate was just a legend
And war was never known
The people worked together
And they lifted many stones.
They carried them
to the flatlands
And they died along the way
But they built up
with their bare hands
What we still can't do today.
And I know she's living there
And she loves me to this day
I still can't remember when
Or how I lost my way.
He came dancing across the water
Cortez, Cortez
What a killer.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Reply...and other things
Reply...and other things
I'm really writing this blog entry to drop a reply to dear biopro, cos she's too noob to have a comments link on her blog. LOL :P
Anyway, it was as enjoyable for me as it was for you, maybe even more so, to talk about the stuff we did. And also thank you for staying up so late listening to my crap and all that, considering that half the time I wasn't even very coherent in my arguments. Go read more!! Then we can discuss more...Disclaimer: Honestly right, I haven't read most of the stuff I talked to you about (LOL!), its more like a random assortment of things mashed together from all over the place. (I've had Hegel's Philosophy of History for two years, and its just been sitting on my shelf staring back at me for two years!) Bottom line is, I'm certainly not as well read as you think I am la. Eh anyway ar, discussing all this stuff on MSN is really damn difficult man, give me a chance to do it face to face and I'll do a better job, :P
***************************************
On to other stuff:
I've kinda been having a difficult time these last few days. Its one of those occasions when all sorts of questions just jump up out of the blue and start attacking you. This time round, the questions had a more...shall we say, spiritual (religious?) slant. For a couple of years now, I've stopped going to church. There are a number of reasons, one (and perhaps the strongest) reason is because I think I've simply lost it. IT. FAITH.
What is faith? I've never been able to come across a particularly satisfying explanation or definition. More often than not, the people that I've spoken to will struggle to answer such a question. Some say its a "feeling", that if you have it you'll "know that its there". Essentially, all these attempts to define it point to one thing, faith is something intangible, something that cannot be explained by rational thought. We may be able to talk about how it manifests itself, how "proof" of its existence can be garnered through our experiences, but we never seem to be able to accurately pinpoint with an level of certainty what it actually is.
Faith often marks the end of reason. It calls for an acceptance that no matter how hard we try to answer "why" questions, we are not going to arrive at a satisfactory conclusion. In short, it is a phenomenon that cannot be explained. All attempts that have tried to reconcile faith with reason (St. Augustine, and then St. Thomas Aquinas and many others) all have their shortcomings and even during the Enlightenment, when Reason was prized above all else, when the Philosophes wrote piece after piece in arguably the most intellectual century in human history, they were unable to reach any proper conclusion without making basic assumptions, assumptions that no matter how logical or natural they may, are assumptions nevertheless, meaning to say that it leaves a fairly large possibility that those assumptions may be wrong.
(Read Carl Becker's Heavenly City of The Eighteenth Century Philosophers)
So if Reason is inadequate to explain the world, to anchor our lives to something, what's left is essentially Faith. There is really no doubt in my mind that there exists somewhere a higher being. No other explanation will suffice. There is this need to believe in a higher being, but so far, it hasn't really happened. The need is there, the will, I feel, is there; unfortunately, the means are not. Or at the very least, I do not know how.
"Show me the door, and I'll open it." That has been one of the phrases that I've been muttering to myself time and again, in the hope that one day, it will happen. Without this, I am quite lost.
I'm really writing this blog entry to drop a reply to dear biopro, cos she's too noob to have a comments link on her blog. LOL :P
Anyway, it was as enjoyable for me as it was for you, maybe even more so, to talk about the stuff we did. And also thank you for staying up so late listening to my crap and all that, considering that half the time I wasn't even very coherent in my arguments. Go read more!! Then we can discuss more...Disclaimer: Honestly right, I haven't read most of the stuff I talked to you about (LOL!), its more like a random assortment of things mashed together from all over the place. (I've had Hegel's Philosophy of History for two years, and its just been sitting on my shelf staring back at me for two years!) Bottom line is, I'm certainly not as well read as you think I am la. Eh anyway ar, discussing all this stuff on MSN is really damn difficult man, give me a chance to do it face to face and I'll do a better job, :P
***************************************
On to other stuff:
I've kinda been having a difficult time these last few days. Its one of those occasions when all sorts of questions just jump up out of the blue and start attacking you. This time round, the questions had a more...shall we say, spiritual (religious?) slant. For a couple of years now, I've stopped going to church. There are a number of reasons, one (and perhaps the strongest) reason is because I think I've simply lost it. IT. FAITH.
What is faith? I've never been able to come across a particularly satisfying explanation or definition. More often than not, the people that I've spoken to will struggle to answer such a question. Some say its a "feeling", that if you have it you'll "know that its there". Essentially, all these attempts to define it point to one thing, faith is something intangible, something that cannot be explained by rational thought. We may be able to talk about how it manifests itself, how "proof" of its existence can be garnered through our experiences, but we never seem to be able to accurately pinpoint with an level of certainty what it actually is.
Faith often marks the end of reason. It calls for an acceptance that no matter how hard we try to answer "why" questions, we are not going to arrive at a satisfactory conclusion. In short, it is a phenomenon that cannot be explained. All attempts that have tried to reconcile faith with reason (St. Augustine, and then St. Thomas Aquinas and many others) all have their shortcomings and even during the Enlightenment, when Reason was prized above all else, when the Philosophes wrote piece after piece in arguably the most intellectual century in human history, they were unable to reach any proper conclusion without making basic assumptions, assumptions that no matter how logical or natural they may, are assumptions nevertheless, meaning to say that it leaves a fairly large possibility that those assumptions may be wrong.
(Read Carl Becker's Heavenly City of The Eighteenth Century Philosophers)
So if Reason is inadequate to explain the world, to anchor our lives to something, what's left is essentially Faith. There is really no doubt in my mind that there exists somewhere a higher being. No other explanation will suffice. There is this need to believe in a higher being, but so far, it hasn't really happened. The need is there, the will, I feel, is there; unfortunately, the means are not. Or at the very least, I do not know how.
"Show me the door, and I'll open it." That has been one of the phrases that I've been muttering to myself time and again, in the hope that one day, it will happen. Without this, I am quite lost.
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